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    • Zelinsky and Gries attend Math Honors Seminar presentations. Photo credit: Hopkins

    • Dunn and Saunders pose for pictures at Pumpkin Bowl. Photo credit: Hopkins

    • May dresses up as Elvis Presley for Halloween and struts at Pumpkin Bowl. Photo credit: Hopkins

The Students’ Choice Awards: 2025 Faculty Superlatives

Ashley Deng ’27 Assistant Features Editor, and Aurelia Wen ’27 Assistant Features Editor
Who says superlatives are just for seniors? Hopkins faculty members have worked hard this entire school year. They have officially earned their moment to shine, thanks to a round of nominations by our students, and they are way cooler than we thought! Here are the winners of this year’s Faculty Superlatives.
Most Likely to Secretly be a Pro Gamer: Dennis Tsui 
Tsui gladly embraced the title: “I thought I was good at Super Smash Bros., which I would love to be pro in…but I got beat by this guy who was a competitive player at a summer camp,” he said, “and when the pandemic hit, I practiced every day for hours.”
 
Runner-up: David DeNaples 
“It’s an honor,” DeNaples said humbly. He also commented that “Most of my gaming is about being an introvert and retreating into my own little world.” 
 
Best Duo: Michael Calderone and Dan Gries
Their fake beef is legendary. Calderone admitted, “We have this fake beef that has been about a decade old where we give each other a hard time and we call each other names.” He admitted that they have been “called to the principal’s office by Geoff Nelson for being snarky [to each other]” in a reply-all email war. Gries, on the other hand, took full credit for the superlative: “I don’t think this really has anything to do with Mike Calderone. I think that he was just a random person to pair with me, because they just wanted to get me involved in this somehow, because I’m awesome.” He added, “I’m happy to see my name in print. G-R-I-E-S.”
 
Runners-up: Sarah Leite and Kristen Abraham
“We definitely are an unstoppable duo,” Abraham confirmed. “We share this tiny office together with no windows. We share a classroom, and we co-teach AP Chem.” Leite added, “Kids call us ‘chem besties.’” 
 
Nerdiest: Joshua Zelinsky
Zelinsky said, “I was worried it was something really bad, but, that’s pretty accurate.” With a PhD, a reputation for being “super mathy,” and a “short guy with glasses,” Zelinsky sees himself as fit for a stereotypical nerd. 
 
Most Likely to Be Always Caught Up with the Latest Trend: Jessica Dunn
“I feel surprised and honored,” Dunn said. She credits her seventh and eighth graders for keeping her in the loop: they “tried to explain what ‘skibidi’ meant to me last year,” she recalled. “Sometimes I have them translate ancient primary sources into 7th/8th grade speech, and that helps me understand some of their terminology.” 
 
Runner-up: Daniel Levy 
“I hate social media, but I do give Kriti Patel ’25 credit for keeping me up to date,” Levy said. 
 
Best Teacher Voice That Could Silence a Stadium: Errol Saunders II
“Over the years, people have been like, ‘You have a great voice for radio,’” Saunders said. 
 
Runner-up: Megan Maxwell Maxwell laughed when she heard the title. “Oh wow. I like it. I have been known to catch people’s attention from across a parking lot,” she admitted. 
 
Most Likely to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse (and lead the rest of us): Dante Brito 
Brito explained that “Just the idea of being a caring person” might make him a great leader. Brito also nominated Dr. D’Angelo for the superlative, “because he can peel and dissect animals” and “he is very good with a knife.” 
 
Runner-up: Daniel Levy
Levy noted, “I’m not sure I’d survive… so maybe I’ll run away from everyone.” When asked to lead the rest of us, Levy replied, “Yeah, I don’t think that’ll happen.” 
 
Most Likely to Star in a Reality TV Show: Shanti Madison 
Her reaction? “How dare you, and where do you get off?” She feels insulted, flattered, and grateful. “I think I’d be really good at ‘Survivor’ or ‘Traitor,’” she said. “I know many of my students are some of my biggest haters, so this is expected,” she admitted. “It’s a title I will hold in my heart forever, and also, whoever nominated me better watch their back because I will find you,” she said. 
 
Best Dressed: Daniel Levy
“I try to look nice, I guess,” he said. 
 
Runner-up: Stephen May
“My friends make fun of me because I once said ‘Fashion never takes a day off.’ How we look is an expression of who we are. Plus, I’m neurodiverse—I feel most comfortable when I’m in a uniform of one kind or another,” said May. 
 
Best Walk–in-the-Hallway Energy: Amelia Audette 
Greetings, waves, smiles, and spontaneous dancing make up her hallway energy. Audette said, “If you ask my seventh graders, they think that I am their dose of caffeine
Back
Editor in Chief 
Liliana Dumas 

Managing Editor 
Miri Levin 

News
Sarah Solazzo 
Rose Porosoff
Anvi Pathak 
Lena Wang
Sonali Bedi 
Features
Abby Rakotomavo
Elona Spiewak
Becky Li
Ashley Deng
Aurelia Wen
 
Arts
Aerin O’Brien
Saisha Ghai
Veena Scholand
Ellie Luo
Isha Seth
Op/Ed
Rain Zheng
Winter Szarabajka
Anjali van Bladel
Gitanjali Navaratnam-Tomayko
Bea Lundberg

Sports
Samantha Bernstein
Hana Beauregard
Elaina Paktuka
Beckett Ehrlich
Lukas Roberts
Content
Amelia Hudonogov-Foster
Edel Lee
Micah Betts
Ari Mehta
Olivia Yu
Karolina Jasaitis 

Cartoonists
Susie Becker 
Faculty Advisers
Stephen May
Elizabeth Gleason
Shanti Madison
The Razor's Edge reflects the opinion of 4/5 of the editorial board and will not be signed. The Razor welcomes letters to the editor but reserves the right to decide which letters to publish, and to edit letters for space reasons. Unsigned letters will not be published, but names may be withheld on request. Letters are subject to the same libel laws as articles. The views expressed in letters are not necessarily those of the editorial board.
     
The Razor,
 an open forum publication, is published monthly during the school year by students of: 
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