Writings from Rennes: La Nouvelle Normalité

Objectively speaking, I should have a lot to write about and to share with the Hopkins community. Over these past few months, however, the glamor of living in France has worn off, replaced by an odd feeling of normalcy and realization: My life in France is quite literally still my life, just in France. Just as I have begun to feel comfortable in this foreign environment, however, I must also come to terms with my time here quickly coming to an end. By the time this article comes out, I will be packing my bags to return home to the United States, and I’m not sure how ready I am to accept that change.

When I first decided to come to France, I was eager to share every moment of the journey with my friends and family back at home. I came prepared with a daily journal to write in, a photo dump account on Instagram, and plenty of ideas for my future Razor articles. 

Funnily enough, while I have had some of the best experiences of my life since my arrival, I have felt very little need to document any of it. Over the past few months, I’ve realized that I no longer care about how my friends at home perceive my time in France. I know that I am having a great time, and I don’t need a constant flood of Instagram posts to confirm that feeling. 

Nevertheless, with my semester in France quickly coming to an end, I look back at my blank journal and Instagram account with mixed feelings. Part of me is worried that I’ll regret not having written down my feelings at every twist and turn of this journey. Just as everyone told me, this semester has been the experience of a lifetime. It’s not everyday that you can hike to a chateau to watch the sunrise on a random weekday in October, or have picturesque after-school picnics with authentic, fresh baguettes in the park. With these incredible adventures, however, have also come incredibly difficult periods of homesickness, among other lows:  The week of what should’ve been my Thanksgiving break, for example, was one of the hardest of my life.

The Thanksgiving week started off strong with a soccer victory for France and over-elaborate Friendsgiving dinner. I felt on the top of the world. In true study-abroad fashion, though, that feeling quickly came to a crashing halt. As I spent the entirety of Sunday doing homework and studying for the week ahead, my family group chat was flooded with texts about airport arrivals and Thanksgiving desserts. It was then, sitting in my room, that I began to break down from a rare feeling of homesickness, from knowing that my whole family was going to be spending my favorite holiday together. Without me.

I knew before arriving in France that Thanksgiving doesn’t exist here. This fact, however, is very different from seeing absolutely no acknowledgement of a holiday season that I’ve grown to appreciate in my life. My friends and I got through this week of homesickness together, and we have continued to take advantage of all Rennes has to offer since then. Though I would never wish to live through Thanksgiving 2022 again, I know that these drastic emotions and experiences are unique to studying abroad in a new culture. As a result, I feel the need to soak in every new experience and savor every moment, even as time seems to fly by.

Through struggling with this idea of living in the moment, I finally understand how I should apply this concept to my life. On one hand, I would like to be able to go into every situation prepared to make the most of every moment. Even so, I have found that focusing on the importance of every experience takes away some of its magic. When I’m diving into the Mediterranean Sea, I don’t want to be thinking about how much I’ll remember that moment in twenty years. Instead, I would prefer to laugh and swim with my friends without constantly worrying about the future. For my last few weeks living in France, I’ve decided to simply live my life fully in the present and to reflect on the significance of its events later. 

While the mystique of living in France has dissipated, so has much of the pressure that I have felt to have an unforgettable semester abroad. As this “new normal” of daily pain au chocolats and dinners with my host family has simply become my normal, I have been able to fully immerse myself in my French life. 

I hope that when I return to Hopkins, which carries stresses of its own, I will be able to look back on these past three months and know that I truly made the most of each experience through simply living it.